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A Collection by Swaja/ Saransh
I stare at the gray
Impervious,
Solid,
Like a familiar yet unyielding milestone on a highway.
You have crossed paths.
But is it the one that you had stopped by that night?
After being drunk on lights,
Traveling a few miles
you halted.
‘fitoor_101’
So curious – the one-O-one.
I imagine an endless stream
A techie – bearded, thin and desirous
Willing to switch on the camera
Adept at codes but not at privacy / privacies
Private bodies
Glitching,
amalgamating,
Becoming
More than 1
Eviscerating the 0s the night would have brought
Otherwise.
May be
it will, still. Still.
What’s up fitoor_101?
Lush,
coitous
un-shying the grin,
Moon,
its splotchy electricity
streaking the night sky
I whisper
When was the last time you had checked?
He winces.
I pester,
gently
Two months ago.
Is that a lie floating in the orbs?
He blinks.
I want to believe.
Desire like a thing added to the cart.
My willingness, a credit card with miles to go.
The bill perhaps will come due.
Not tonight though.
So I run with the moon,
Desirous, in the clouds
you hide, I seek.
Desire splits
my image on the screen
Which shall I pick?
Like a typo, I notice the sag
I quickly crop it out
Editing it out of sight,
Will he notice?
Is it enough?
Would they want more?
tap, switch, tap.
The lusture of their post-workout sweat.
taut, thrilling.
Embarassing.
Can I deserve this?
Aiming high,
Ain’t I?
Tap, switch, slide, slide, slide,
He is…
a better match.
Shall I send an uncropped sight?
NO!
No Sags.
Ping!
Who is…
He wants?!
He wants!!!
Tap, switch, Tap, send, send, send.
I wait.
I close my eyes.
I feel the hollows growing darker.
Pinching the crow’s feet out
Gua-sha, Gua-sha!
Ping,
Tap, switch, Tap
12.30? Ur plc?
Not tonight. Tmrw?
I bite my lips.
“I need to exercise.” I whisper.
Sleep, a flickering thing tonight.
Swaja/ Saransh likes to play with Avatars. They are a visual and performance artist who is based in Delhi. They work on the themes of climate change, gender and actively mitigating the greenwashing of sustainable development. They make films, faciliate workshops and listening circles, engage in communication work and you may know them by their stage name, Avatari Devi.
